When You Are Your Own Worst Boss

If you met me just a little while ago, you would know that I have a problem–with several symptoms. I burn the candle at both ends for several months at a time and then I sleep nonstop for several days. I go through the whole process all over again several times a year. Because I have become a crazy nocturnal writer, I tend to drink too much wine and have the “occasional” cigarette to get my mind focused. I follow this process to the frustration and confusion of my family and friends. But such sacrifices are for my art, right?

Wrong. If I knew at the beginning of the year what I know now, I can assure you, I would have written down a message to 2012 me and said, “Follow this. Your life depends on it.”  I would have opened up the note and read, “Tell your bully boss to shut up.”

My problem is my boss–me. You know that boss, right? That part of you which is never happy, never done, always finding things to edit, always pushing you up to the last possible moment to finish something. Loves to stress you out. Has the motto “If it’s not painful, It’s not work” tattooed across her forehead.

With the end of the year closing in, I nervously observe my boss scribbling out her evaluation of me. My palms sweat. I know that I have decided to publish a book one month later than planned, which would make it a 2014 book instead of 2013. This means my goal of five books for 2013 has fallen short by one book. It’s really a bit precocious, the way the boss frowns at me and hunches over her desk, shaking her head in disappointment. Four books is nothing to sneeze at. I know this. So does she. So why do I still listen to her? Why is she still in charge of me???

Well, I’ve made a decision. I’m firing my boss. LOL! How awesome is that? my new boss has gone through a network of interviews. She’s smart, understanding, and has five goals for me everyday.

1) write 1500 words a day

2) edit ten pages of manuscript

3) work on marketing 1 hour a day

4) work one artistic endeavors once a day

5) meditate, followed by focused meditation on story lines once a day.

That’s it. Everyday. No more AND no less. We’ll see by year’s end if I am more productive, less, the same? And most importantly, am I a nocturnal drunken zombie or a halfway healthy writer?

If you need to fire your “old”  inner boss, what qualities would you hope your “new” inner boss would own? How would it change your process?

My book, “Vampire’s Fortune, Fortune Teller’s Curse,” is the story I pulled back for 2014 so it will be at Amazon in January. Keep an eye out for it and see if the extra time was worth it!

–Kara xxooxx


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